The Power of 3: A Matchmaker’s Rule for Intentional Dating
As an Indian matchmaker, one of the most common pieces of guidance I give my members is something I call “The Power of 3.”
Simply put: unless there is a clear red flag, I encourage singles to give a connection three meetings before deciding they don’t want to see someone again.
Here’s why.
First Meetings Are Often Nerve-Wracking
First dates can be intimidating. Nerves, expectations, and pressure can prevent people from fully being themselves. Someone who is warm, confident, and engaging in real life may come across as quiet or reserved during a first meeting.
That’s why I often recommend keeping the first date short and simple — just enough time to understand:
How they show up
Their energy and communication style
Whether the initial vibe feels aligned
The goal of the first date isn’t to decide everything. It’s simply to decide whether a second meeting makes sense.
The Second Date Brings Personality Forward
By the second meeting, nerves usually soften. This is where I suggest choosing an activity-based date rather than a formal dinner.
An activity — a casual event, or something interactive — allows you to see how someone moves through the world. You learn more about their personality, sense of humor, and natural rhythm without the pressure of sitting across a table trying to impress one another.
This date often reveals more than long conversations ever could.
The Third Date Is Where Comfort Sets In
By the third meeting, people tend to feel more relaxed and authentic. Defenses lower, conversations flow more naturally, and you’re able to experience the person as they truly are — not just who they are trying to be.
This is often the point where clarity appears. Either the connection begins to deepen, or you realize it’s not the right fit — and that realization feels grounded rather than rushed.
Why the “Power of 3” Matters
In today’s fast-paced dating culture, it’s easy to make quick judgments based on a single interaction. But meaningful relationships rarely reveal themselves in just one meeting.
The Power of 3 encourages:
Patience over pressure
Curiosity over instant chemistry
Intention over impulse
A Gentle Reminder
These are recommendations — not rules. Always use your best judgment. If something feels clearly misaligned or uncomfortable, you never owe anyone additional time.
But when there’s curiosity, respect, and no obvious red flags, giving someone three meetings can open the door to connections you might otherwise miss.
Sometimes, the right person doesn’t show up fully in the first moment — but they do with a little time.
At South Asians Club, we believe intentional dating creates space for real connection, clarity, and lasting relationships.
Are There Any Good People Left Out There?
It all begins with an idea.
It’s one of the most common questions singles ask me — often quietly, sometimes with frustration:
“Are there any good people left out there?”
The answer is simple and honest: yes — absolutely.
That said, it can feel harder to believe, especially around the holidays.
Why It Feels Heavier This Time of Year
The holidays tend to magnify everything — family gatherings, relationship questions, engagement news, and constant reminders of who’s coupled up. If you’re single, it can feel isolating or make you wonder if you’re falling behind.
If that’s you, know this: you’re not alone. Many singles are feeling the exact same pressure, even if they don’t talk about it openly.
The Truth
There are good people out there who genuinely want meaningful relationships. They’re thoughtful, emotionally aware, and looking for something real — not just something convenient.
They’re navigating modern dating just like you, learning from past experiences, and trying not to lose hope.
Take It One Day at a Time
You don’t need to have everything figured out right now. Dating doesn’t have to be rushed, forced, or compared to anyone else’s timeline.
Take it one day at a time. Protect your energy. Stay open, even when it feels vulnerable.
Hope doesn’t mean pretending dating is easy — it means choosing not to give up.
A Gentle Reminder
Good people still exist. Many are looking for the same kind of connection you are.
This season, be kind to yourself. You’re not behind. Your journey is unfolding — and yes, there are good people out there.
At South Asians Club, we believe in intentional connections and creating space for real relationships to grow.